Waiter, what's this in my beer?

Waiter: It's not hops, or adjuncts or even the very trendy--but totally disgusting-- glitter, sir.

Me: Agree on the glitter beer. But what is it that's in my beer?

Waiter: It's, um, plastic, sir. Microplastics to be precise. Me: WTF? Why is there microplastic in my beer?

Waiter: Well, here's the technical reason. But simply put, it's in a lot of things. Especially tap water.

Me: Can I taste it?

Waiter: Well, you claim you can taste pineapples, mangos, citrus fruits, pine, coconut, chocolate and coffee in some of the beers you report on. So you tell me. Have you ever tasted it?

Me: Not that I know of. Where does it come from?

Waiter: Nobody seems to know. But they call it "anthropogenic."

Me: And that means "produced by humans?"

Waiter: Yes, sir.

Me: Well, humans are also produced by humans, mostly, and though there are some real huckleberries out there, the folks that drink good beer are among the best.

Waiter: Very true, sir.

Me: Is it dangerous? Can it hurt me?

Waiter: Nobody seems to know. Probably depends on how much you ingest.

Me: Hmm. Correct. Well, I'm going to ingest this one, and very probably another when I'm done.

Waiter: Very good, sir.

Me: Do you think there are microplastics in those plastic bottles of water everybody seems to be drinking?

Waiter: Very likely, sir.

Me: But our forefathers drank beer because it was healthier to drink than the water in many places. The brewing process got rid of all the impurities, right?

Waiter: Indeed, as a devoted reader of The PubScout, that's what I learned, sir.

Moral:

Everyone needs to drink more water. But it has to be filtered.

Preferably, through a brewery.

Cheers!

The PubScout

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